Rantings

Bye-bye Assholes

So I’ve changed a few things on the site. Not really, but some. Just some small text that most people probably didn’t even know existed.

Since I’ve changed my hosting I haven’t been receiving any harassing comments! I don’t know if this is because these people are just tired and bored and moved on to something more exciting that tearing down my very existence, or if they just haven’t checked what I’m up to. Which is fine by me.

Things were getting pretty bad there for a bit in the Summer/Fall. I’ve been under quite a bit of stress due to school and family matters. It was nice to get a reprieve from assholes, even if it was just for a bit. Now that I’ve typed this I know they’re going to come back and harass me. Part of me wants them to. Like, fuck you, go ahead. Bring it on! But then I remember how awful I feel about myself after they do and realize how fragile I am and I don’t want them to bug me.

Stop

Like, I’m a delicate, effing flower, okay? Just stop stomping the shit out of me already! I don’t even know why you get such fun and glee out of this.

And then I’m reminded of all my failings and short-coming and it makes me go crazy!

Drastic Shift In Conversation

This weekend we’ve got an interview with a potential babysitter and I’ve got two others lined up. Because I like going out with my husband without the kids. Because I have tickets to a concert and he wants to come since my friend bailed. Because we just deserve a damn break. So I have to interview strangers. That’s what happens when you live in a small town that thinks it’s a big town and you don’t know anyone.

Hopefully it works out because BREAK TIME!

Now I’ve got to do some homework for my statistics class and try not to cry too hard because: STATS is SATAN.

via GIPHY

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The Unchanging Face

So I have moved my site over to Reclaim Hosting. It looks exactly the same because the people there are awesome.

The look will be the same, for now, while I explore everything I can do.

In the meantime, you’ll want to update your bookmarks for my site. It’s changed from sarahjaynenantais.com to sarahjaynenantais.ca. If you’ve been following the .com site, it will redirect to the .ca site for the next year I believe.

All my lovely followers should have migrated with me to the new hosting platform. I hope I didn’t lose anyone!

I’ll write another, real, post later on. Just wanted to give everyone an update of what’s happened in the last few days.

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Everything is Blue

I’m so apathetic today. Which apparently is making me wittier than normal.

This won’t be a long post because apathy and the fact that I just can’t think of anything of value to write.

I am considering getting my own hosting service and moving the site. Not sure how that will affect things, but I’m just investigating at this time. If anyone has any experiences with their own hosting and how it works when you’ve started as a WordPress hosted site, I would be interested in hearing from you! Either hit me up in the comments or contact me via email.

I hope everyone has had a good holiday season and aren’t feeling overwhelmed with being back to work! There’s a lot going on in my neck of the woods that I’ll sort out in another post.

On a side note, I’m taking a stats for education class and I hate IBM SPSS 24. I mostly hate it because I am illiterate with programs like this and want to throw things out the window. Someone want to do my homework for me? Please? No? Bastards.

It’s my bestfriends birthday today and I just sang to her on the phone. She lives a few provinces away so I couldn’t sing to her face. She’s complaining (lightly) that she’s old because she turned 30. As someone who is turning 34 this year, I laugh at her.

As she is a cat-person, I post this photo in her honour:

cat

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Shitty Days

When shitty days attack it’s like being run over by a transport truck.

As your body flies through the air it’s captured by a pissed off tiger.

This tiger decides to maul you until everything about you is red.

And then it rains.

But instead of relief you’re struck by lightning fifteen-thousand times.

Aaaand then frozen. Just for kicks.

Fuck you, Today. I don’t wanna be friends any more.

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Miniscule Update

I have been so AWOL lately.  It’s been like, what? 2 months since I posted anything?

I wish this could be a longer post, but it can’t right now. Maybe later.

Like most of you, I’ve had a lot of things going on both personally and scholastically. Most of it is sorted out and I hope to be back to writing more often when the dust of Christmas settles.

I hope everyone is doing well and I look forward to catching up with everything you’ve been writing in the past few months!

Have a Jack Skellington to tide you over 😀

the-nightmare-before-christmas-jack-skellington

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 2 comments

Lunatic Ravings

So I started writing a short of Raelin and Sharlot, relatively main characters from TAK. I got to page 8 when I had to stop. I’ve been drinking tonight and I get fairly needy/philosophical/cracked out when that happens so I fear the story has taken a direction I didn’t intend. I know up to page 5 is good to go because I wrote that before I went out with my coworkers, the Brain Twin and the BSP.

As I sit here in my hotel room, thinking out loud and singing along to the song I have on repeat I start to wonder a lot of things. Have you ever talked to yourself? Like outloud? And listened to the response? I talk to myself quite regularly and there are times when I surprise even myself. Right now my out-loud-thoughts are:

I want a cigarette like no one’s business.

Why the hell do I want a smoke now after all these years?

Shit, I need to get some sleep.

Can’t I write better than this? Maybe 6 drinks was too much.

Do I really have to function tomorrow?

I totally just want to run away to that cabin in Jasper. 

I have too many tattoo ideas and not enough skin.

I wonder what they really think of me. No wait, no I don’t. I don’t want to know.

Amaretto tastes really good.

So I’ve got all of this bouncing around right now. I’ve got to be up in five hours so maybe I’ll try to get some semblance of that which is called sleep. I think I can do it. I generally funciotn on far less. Perhaps it is time to turn the lights out and get this intoxicated ass to bed.

Plus side? I’m 99% sure I didn’t embarass myself this time 😉

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Need to Scratch

I’ve been thinking a lot about TAK lately. I wasn’t satisfied where I had stopped it last time. I found myself up against a wall; unsure how to move the story forward. My next concern was how I got myself in that hole. This hasn’t ever really happened before. Usually when I hit a wall I just find some way to push through it, even if it seems weird and crummy in the story itself.

But I find I can’t do that with TAK. So the question becomes: where do I go from here?

I’ve figured out where it all went wrong. I had the main characters depart on a job in a small town which lead them to the remaining group of main characters. Only now that it’s been a few months (okay, almost a year) since I wrote that I can see that it was unnatural. I wasn’t truly in the mind of my characters and the story-line suffered for that. Of course, this made me feel like those forty pages I had written since were useless and I rejected doing anything to it.

So it sat.

And sat.

And sat like a fat cat on a chair. (I just wanted to write that)

cat

It’s not on a chair, but you get the idea

Now I can feel that itch in my fingers: the one that wants me to just sit at a desk all day and type frantically. The one that wants to get the story out of my head and into the world.

I have a few issues with that which are making this itch hard to scratch.

Issue 1: I have a Day Job. While this day job has been incredibly sloooooooow lately and I’ve been way up to date on all my work, I’ve been using the time to work on my courses.

Issue 2: I’m a crazy person working full time and taking two classes online. Both of these classes are ridiculously heavy with the classwork. I have weekly discussions, two group assignments, 2 tests and an exam. And that’s just what I remember.

Issue 3: I’m a parent. This means I have limited time and I can’t just lock myself away in my office (which is super cold all.the.time. for some stupid reason) without drowning in guilt.

So these are my issues. I need some tissues. (HA! I’m a bit delirious. I got out of bed earlier than normal today).

Those who write and somehow manage to balance a life, how do you do it? Any tips to spare? I’m usually great at self-motivation but I could use some extra support right now.

glasses

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November: Month of Hope?

It’s been a rough-go since about June. Things have been wavering around and my emotions have been dragged all over the place; most often to be thrown down and stomped on. I’ve had some devastating blows to my self-esteem and some angry moments over things I can’t control.

The best thing about October is that it was my birthday (Yay me!) and it was my ‘wife’s’ birthday on the 25th. Nothing else noteworthy happened and things have been so blaaaaah.

Here comes November! I’ll be heading to the city for a 2 day conference on a topic I’m totally psyched for the session topics. I also get to drive myself and my coworkers in, which is fun for me because usually the BSP drives. After the conference is my youngest son’s birthday. That’ll be fun! I’ve had his present saved under my bed since, like, August because I’m one of those. Then I have a dentist appointment (I actually like the dentist. Weird, right?) and then a concert! Mariana’s Trench is coming to my town and I totally bought tickets for a friend of mine and myself! I’m quite excited! After the concert I have some weeks of meh but then! OH THEN! I have my TATTOO APPOINTMENT!! I am SO STOKED for my tattoo! This will make technically tattoo #8 but really #7. Tattoo 7 was a cover-up of tattoo 1. Has anyone ever told you tattoos are addicting? Because they are. AND I LOVE IT.

Do you have a good month coming up? November is Thanksgiving for all my American friends, right? Let me know what you’re up to!

I’ve also joined a task-minding app called Habitica. If you like RPGs and have a hard time doing various tasks, want to change habits or just generally need help remembering stuff, check it out! Also, tell me if you’re on it! We can party up!

shirt

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Opt-Out

No Mindful Musings today! I’m 3 posts (well, now that you’re reading this one I’m 2 posts) away from having my 500th post! I want to save the 200th Mindful Musing for the 500th post! Okay. Too many numbers. Brain now hurts.

Today is the birthday of someone super-crazy important to me today. My cute ‘wife’ who is in her second year of university in New Brunswick has her birthday today! I sent her a bunch of silly, slightly ridiculous pictures. I was going to record myself singing happy birthday to her in over-excited exuberance, but I’m already at work and my coworker and I came in at the same time today so it’s not even like I could have done it in my car. I might just do it when I get home and then send it off to her. I also have super-awesome presents to send to her that I will be firing off in the mail tomorrow. Come on, Canada Post! Don’t let me down and let it reach her before Christmas!

Last night I was working on getting my Hallowe’en costume set to go. I’m usually something dead or dying because I like to have fake blood (it’s Hallowe’en. Why wouldn’t you?) but this year I’ll be different. No blood. No bullet holes. No death. I’m not overly creative so I just looked at my current hairstyle and was like: “I need something that will make that work” and I found something. It also helps to Google ideas based on the fact that I wear glasses. Since I have like, 7 pairs (no exaggeration here), I also have a pair that fit the character. One part of what I did last night worked out fabulously. The other part, not so much. I may have to redo it. It’s my own fault for not following the directions properly. It happens.

How are my readers today? I haven’t posted a post about nothing in a long time. I haven’t been writing TAK because I’m a HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING and because I’ve been taking 2 classes this term which have occupied almost all of my time. We had a test which I almost failed *insert sobs of panic here* but I’m doing well on everything else. I am going to be taking just one course next term because it’s stats and as you know, numbers and I are not really friends. We’re more like frenemies.

For some reason this little thing has been in my head so I’m going to let it out:

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the cops and they want you to turn the party waaaaay down.

Don’t ask because I don’t even know! I’ve been watching a LOT of Brooklyn Nine-Nine because that show is ridiculously hilarious so maybe that’s where that came from.

It’s almost November which means it’s almost tattoo time! I have to email my artist by the end of this week with designs for the kimono that my goddess will be wearing. I have to be sure to do that sooner rather than later! I’m so stoked for the tattoo! It’ll be awesome.

Also awesome? Flying out to Alberta to visit my girlfriend who is like my sister. I haven’t seen her in a year and we want to go see Moana together so I planned my trip around the release date.

Are you doing anything exciting? All my American readers are probably getting ready for Thanksgiving, right? What are some of the things  you need to do to get ready?

funny-meme-super-lazy1

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 1 comment