Calling All Allies

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do something is bound to go wrong? Maybe I’m just tired (that’s probably it) but I am feeling so goddamn defeated lately.

We need to put about $5000 worth of work into our house just so that we can sleep in our bedroom again. My husband is getting ready to go back to school. If I take my freelancing jobs into consideration I am working one full time job and three part time jobs right now. I am feeling so stretched that it’s starting to get to me.

Thankfully my husband is a great person and isn’t taking the fact that I’m working so hard to put him through school for granted.

But today, I feel like I’m over the edge.

I backed into the convertible car of the Executive Director at my full time job. Did I mention he’s the former Chief of Police in my town? He was very nice about the whole thing and insurance will sort it out but it’s just one of those things that really didn’t need to happen right now. Like I am so over the fact that ONE. MORE. THING. has just gone wrong and we’ll have to pay for something when we’re trying to scrimp and save.

I do kickboxing twice a week which is helping me keep a level head lately. But I haven’t played a video game in over a month. I have written anything worth reading in over 5 months. I feel like crying because I’m so tired and feeling so guilty right now about the car.

I just want SOMETHING to go right. Anything. I want my kids to stop screaming and freaking out every ten seconds. I want to be able to afford or even FIND a babysitter so my husband and I can go on a date. But then a date costs money so I talk myself out of the idea.

I miss my friends. I miss my PanTron and my Wifey. Because my emotional mind is in control I`m FAR more whiny than I need to be right now. I know I`m just being a pest but if I can`t vent into the virtual world I am going to freaking explode.

I`m hoping a payment for one of my freelancing jobs comes in soon so I can feel a bit better about my money situation.

Yeesh.

Who`s got a hammer? Wanna practice nailing into my coffin?

Posted by Sarah Jayne

Leave a Reply