Daymares in the Daylight

I had a daymare today. I classify a ‘daymare’ as those waking dreams. Where your mind wanders but you ‘see’ or ‘dream’ things.

This daymare is recurring. I have it every so often that it’s almost come to be something like an omen; a prophecy. Which would be kind of cool and the only good thing about this whole situation.

My daymare starts with a phone call. Not a text. This lends intense urgency to the whole thing. No one calls me. Unless something is wrong. In my daymare my cousin has called to tell me of our grandfathers passing. At the time of writing, my grandfather is very much alive. I have not seen nor spoken to the man since my grandmother passed almost seven years ago.

I make it a point to not go to Ontario. There are people there I would rather not see. I joke that I only go back when people die, as the last time I was there was when my grandmother passed.

The phone call is disjointed and I can’t make out the words but I know what it is. She is giving me dates and times.

Time is not linear in a daymare and suddenly I am there. I am in Ontario at the funeral. I pay my respects and touch base with my cousin and my collection of aunts and uncles.

And then I hear it.

Her voice.

It’s grating and the anxiety I feel whenever I think about her rushes over me. I’m consumed and it becomes hard to hear. She’s yelling, as usual. I can’t make out the words. It’s just….noise. Everything else is muted and I’m surrounded by her noise.

I break out of the daymare, eventually. It feels so real that sometimes when this happens I will text my cousin and ask her for an update.

The positive out of all of this is it’s just a daymare. It hasn’t happened. It’s like training for when the real thing happens. So that’s good, I suppose.

Daymares can be good fodder for writing, but I have to be at work now. No time to break out the tablet and start typing away. Perhaps at lunch time I can channel this into something. Aldric and Brexton have just returned to Vanecia after all. Debating on having them meet with The Doctor (no TARDIS here. Not that kind of doctor) or have them go straight to their destination. It’s a bit muddled in my mind here so I might write and rewrite this section a few times.

I made a story map of what I want to happen here, I just need to review it. Maybe approach it from a different angle then what I’ve got going on right now.

Happy Monday folks! Try to stay awake!

awake

Posted by Sarah Jayne

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