Tick-Tock

Today is the last day that I get to spend with my son, just the two of us. On Wednesday I go into the hospital to have my second baby. Tomorrow we take our son to Nana and Grampy’s so that he can get settled and Mum and Dad can go to our Pre-Op appointment as we are having a scheduled c-section for this second little monster.

Right now I’m filled with so many mixed emotions I don’t know how I’m going to sleep the next two nights. I would be spending all my time with my son right now but he’s more concerned with fighting Vader in Angry Birds to want to play with me. So I thought I’d do my ‘final’ post for a while since he’s preoccupied.

I just keep worrying about having enough time for both kids. Most of the time I feel like I don’t have enough time for just my son. But I’ll be going back to work and hopefully doing some school so that means my time will be reduced again. I’m hoping to start in 2014 and only doing school 3 days a week on the days when my son is in Pre-Kindergarten anyway and then working in the evening. The year after that, if I get into the B.Ed program, I’ll be going to school full time, but so will my son. My baby will be old enough to attend the child care on campus so that will be fine. And really, it’ll be like when I first had my son and went back to work. I worked full time Monday-Friday so it’s not like one child will have had more time with me than the other.

I’m trying to keep in mind how to balance everything. Especially if I have another boy. While I REALLY REALLY want another boy, I’m worried about treating them differently, preferring one over the other, or just straight up treating them so differently it’s noticeable. And I mean favouring one over the other when I talk about treating them differently. Of course they will be treated differently as they will be different people.

But then if I have a girl, my son can go on being my special little man. However, that brings up a whole host of other concerns and worries that I don’t even know what I’m going to do about it.

Let’s not even START talking about the ACTUAL birth of the child, which is via cesarean section, which is considered MAJOR surgery. Plus, I’m getting my tubes obliterated in the process so even though I’ve had a c-section before, this one will be different and therefore my recovery will be different.

Will I be able to spend time with both kids right away? Will my son be able to adjust to the arrival of the new baby? He’s only 3.5 years old so while I THINK he kind of gets what’s going on, I don’t think he understands 100%. I’m worried he won’t know what to do with me when I am sitting in bed and not moving because I’ve just gotten my stitches removed or something. I’m worried he will start acting out in a way that we can’t control.

Oh, and did I mention Christmas is coming? And our income is reduced. Good thing I’m done shopping for my family for the most part πŸ˜›

Ugh.

Well, my boy needs help annihilating some Storm Trooper piggies on Hoth so I should stop.

Hopefully I can stop thinking about all this crap and just relax before baby gets here and takes away all my energy πŸ™‚

Posted by Sarah Jayne

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