Floudering

Last night I shut my phone off at about 7:20pm. I made myself a tea and I put on one of my favourite movies (Summer Wars, in Japanese with English subtitles, in case you were wondering). I just sat on my couch fully paying attention to the magic before me while not being distracted by anything. No text messages, no phone calls, no urge to Google something while watching the show because I became distracted for a short moment.

After I enjoyed my movie, I did some reflecting. I have been under a lot of stress lately and it mostly centres on one thing I don’t have control over. So I thought about what I do  have control over. What in my life, right then, could I control.

Last night I resigned from my position on the Board of Directors for the organization I was involved with.

I did this for a few reasons:

  • By volunteering for Co-Chair I was putting myself in a position where I was going to be expected to give more than I am capable of.
  • The sole reason I volunteered for Co-Chair was because the organization needs one, not because I wanted to. It was pressure I put on myself.
  • It’s not fun. I’m not sure what I was expecting when I volunteered for the board. While the people who sit on the board and those who are employed by the organization are a group of the most amazing women I have ever met, volunteering in that capacity does not give me anything in return.

I am one of those people who generally sits and writes out pros and cons before doing anything. I did that before I applied to the job I have now, I did that before my husband applied to school. I did that before I decided on which educational path I want to go for. Hell, when I was mapping out the end of Three Abandoned Kingdoms I did that to make sure I was satisfied with the way I wanted the novel to go.

While I still feel like a fish on land in most respects, the fact that I no longer have to concern myself with the intricate inner workings of the board has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I no longer have to attend the morning meeting tomorrow. My husband has already asked for it off, so that means that we have an entire day with the family as a whole where no one needs to leave.

While I was very distraught and upset when I resigned from the board, it was the best thing I could have done for myself at this time.

I learned to say no.

a-frog-saying-no

Posted by Sarah Jayne

1 comment

Good for you! I also find it hard to say ‘no’ sometimes, but it also, sometimes, it has to be done!

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