Grieving the Past

People who have had less than glamourous childhoods like I have tend to go through stages of grief. We are mourning the childhoods we never had; or briefly had but then lost.

There’s nothing wrong with grief. I have been denying myself this grief for decades and it’s time I started moving forward with the process.

Currently I find myself unable to forgive certain people and situations from 20 years ago. And that’s not an exaggeration. If I want to be successful I need to learn to let go.

It’s hard for me to let go because I have been holding on to my misery and my rage and using it as a way to identify myself. How can I not be myself unless I remember everything that has happened? All the struggles? The brief victories?

I realize I need to remember these things, but I don’t need to hold on to the feels I felt when they happened.

I found a handy infographic on the stages of grief for an adult. You can find the full information at this site.

In the meantime, here’s the infographic. What stage are you at?5 Stages of Adult Grief

Posted by Sarah Jayne


I also had a less than glamorous childhood. I recently learned my dad has a terminal illness and even though I haven’t spoke to him in over 12 years, I found myself at a loss for words over the whole ordeal. I always imagined hearing news like this or even worse news but never thought I’d be sad. I always assumed I’d have the attitude that he finally got what was coming to him. I am attempting to work on forgiveness towards him. Not for him but for myself. I wish you well on your journey. I stumbled on this tonight and although I’m not happy you are in your situation, I am glad I found your words. Thank you!

Sarah Jayne Nantais

Hi Cynthia.
I’ve actually been waiting for the day I hear something awful about the health of either of my parents. I too wish you well on your journey. It is never easy, but it is always worth it. Safe travels, friend.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.