I. Can't. Even.

First off, where did this phrase come from? Are people today so overtaxed and exhausted that they can’t complete a sentence or idea? I literally can’t even. Hahahaha.

Went to my friend’s new house to watch Inside Out, which is a fabulous movie even if it is ‘for kids’. If you have issues with emotions or you want to teach your children about emotions and how they impact our lives and how we become who we are, this is a good movie for this. Because SCIENCE! Where did that phrase come from as well? Because science what? Found the answer? Is the best? COMPLETE THE IDEA!! I give up for the most part though. I’m infected with this partial sentence syndrome.

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After I watched that movie I started thinking about my next book, TAK. The characters are older than I’ve ever written for before but I am also older. As I’ve grown and aged I’ve come to experience things I don’t  think I could have written about before. Let me rephrase: it’s not that I couldn’t have written about it before, I just don’t believe I would have been as believable as I am now. I’m 32. I’m married with two children. I’ve moved a lot. I’ve seen friends come and go. I’ve dealt with loss. I’ve been rejected and mistreated. I’ve been accepted and treated well. I’ve seen the abyss and it has stared back at me. Because of this life I’ve lived I’ve learned and discovered. I’ve seen more of the world than I had when I was younger. I’ve moved a few times. I’ve only lived in Canada but I have experienced different climates. This country is massive. No two provinces are the same, it seems. It’s exciting and it makes me want to write RIGHT NOW when I think of things like this. I’m writing short stories on my characters to sort of flesh out their development that I might not be able to put into the main story of TAK. Explore relationships that won’t have space to be explored in the main story. There may be bits and pieces that I can bring in, but if I were to bring in everything this book would be 1000 pages.

Had a chat with my cousin, briefly, this weekend. She was telling me about the Christmas plans this year. It seems that since our grandmother passed away the family has fallen apart. She had mentioned that no one was getting together for holidays and special occasions any more. Our grandparents home was the hub for that. Every conceivable holiday or special occasion we spent there. Our grandmother was our core; our anchor and she is gone. It’s hard to think about and it makes me sad. I like to think she’s in a better place now. I’m not religious but she had faith. Not crazy-shove-it-down-your-throat faith but she believed. If there is a God I like to think they are taking care of her now.

This time of the year always makes me nostalgic. I miss parts of my childhood and certain people. I remember former homes and friends. But then I am reminded that a new year is coming and that there are new adventures and experiences waiting for me. I might get to do a Master’s program in Newfoundland in a few years. The kids are getting bigger. Maybe my father and I will reignite our relationship. Maybe I will see my cousin and her children. Maybe I will actually go back to Ontario on purpose. My husband is doing well in school. Maybe we’ll paint our house. Maybe we’ll personalize it a bit more. All of these things are things I can look forward to. There are lots of things that can happen. I look forward to it all.

Posted by Sarah Jayne

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