Learning to Say 'No'

There are some things I have a  hard time saying no to.

There have been people in my life that I have let come back even when I should have said no. I have volunteered for tasks that are far beyond my comfort zone and my abilities but I have not said no.

Part of it is because when I feel I’m in a situation where something I enjoy or want to believe in is in jeopardy, if I don’t say yes, this thing will disappear. I had been volunteering as the secretary for the Board of Directors I sit on but then our Chair announced she was moving. No one volunteered to take her place. I started feeling like there was pressure on me. Probably of my imagination, but it felt like if I didn’t volunteer to take the place, no one would and the organization would face huge difficulties. The organization I volunteer with relies heavily on the Board for direction, approval and regular day to day things. Now I feel overwhelmed and that I’m going to drown under this pressure. I have never been the chair of a board of directors before. I have no idea what I’m doing. This whole situation feels like a mess. I can’t rally people together for a cause. I can’t spur people to action. There is so much apathy on this board of directors I don’t know what’s going to happen next.

I wish I could just run away. Seriously. I just want to run away and hide under my blankets and sleep. Maybe it’s all a dream. Or a nightmare. I’m not sure.

All I  know is that this stress is seriously wreaking havoc on my writing mojo. The Mindful Musing I wrote this morning that will publish tomorrow isn’t one of my best.

Gah. Today feels like Monday.

This sucks.

Sucks

Posted by Sarah Jayne

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