The Things We Teach Our Children

Okay, so I’ll apologize that this has somehow shifted from me talking about my story and my stories that I’m working on and reading to parenting and child-things. I can’t help it right now. I’m gestating and this is what my brain wants to write about.

I may not have a real relationship with my biological parents but as I get ready to bring a second child into this world I unfortunately remember instances when my parents were together or from the time before my mother went crazy (well, it was never formally diagnosed but she HAS to be bi-polar or something because I can’t explain her any other way).

I was thinking of the things I want for my children and this in turn made me think back on the things I learned from my parents.

Good Things:

  • Work hard
  • Be on time
  • Take school seriously
  • Be able to think and do for yourself
  • Be the best that you are capable of (this lesson got warped as I got older, but I’ll remember this part of it)
  • Don’t be afraid to try new things and meet new people
  • If you’ll regret not doing it, do it. If you’ll regret doing it, don’t
  • Family is the most important thing (this was from when I was VEEEEEEEEEERY young as neither of them follow this anymore)
  • Don’t limit yourself
  • You are your own worst enemy. Make friends with yourself.

And the Bad Things:

  • Don’t do drugs in front of your children
  • Your children shouldn’t need to know where to hide your stash if the cops show up
  • Don’t frequent the bar so much your children know the bartenders by name when they call
  • If you are suffering, get help. Don’t take it out on your family
  • Don’t think you can put yourself in a dangerous situation and your children won’t know about it
  • Don’t bring strange men to the house where your teenage daughter lives with you. Especially when these men are creepy.
  • Don’t hold a knife to your chest and threaten to kill yourself when your children are in the room.

And many more.

As I get older and I begin to resemble my parents more and more in the way I talk, act, and look, I fear that I will end up like them. There are many parts of my childhood that were absolutely awful and terrifying that I don’t ever want to put my children through. There were also a few things that were really good and taught me important things. It’s sad that those happened so long ago.

Part of this is self-therapy to get these memories out of my head because as I get further in to my pregnancy I’m finding myself a lot more moody than the last time and I’m dwelling on past things a lot. I can’t really talk about it with my husband sometimes, not because he won’t listen, but because he’s heard it SO MANY DAMN TIMES I fear he’ll just go crazy lol

With that said, I feel much better now. I’m going to focus on the positive and maybe I’ll write a post that’s only about good things to reinforce that.

Back to the Day Job…..someone’s gotta do it.

Posted by Sarah Jayne

4 comments

Canadian girl

Talk it out as long as you need to and then you will be able to put it behind you!

Sarah Jayne Nantais

Aw thanks for that. Sometimes I just feel like I never stop talking about it and it frustrates me. Or I feel like I’m done, and it’s behind me, and then something happens to bring it to the forefront again. But, this is all a part of growing up!

Margaret Haynes Meritt

Our children are the best of us. Only look back to see what you can do better.

Sarah Jayne Nantais

I hope I can do that. I think it helps that I’m aware of what NOT to do at least which can help me focus on what TO do

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