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2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

This was pretty cool to read! Thanks to all those who made it possible 🙂

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 700 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 12 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

30 Until I'm 30!

Well, it’s off by a few days now, but yeah, I’m going to be thirty years old on October 1st (because I’m number 1! [Sorry. I always do that…..]).

I’m actually really excited to turn 30. I know a few of my friends have had borderline meltdowns because they were turning 30 and they just couldn’t believe it. They felt so old, felt like they hadn’t done anything with their lives etc.

While I may feel the same way on a few of those sentiments, I just think it’s awesome to be able to say that I’ve been alive for three decades. DECADES! That’s a long-ass time you know.

Sure, there are a lot of things I wish I had done already. I wish I had completed school, I wish I had had my family earlier and met my husband earlier, but there are a lot of things I can’t change.

Being pregnant at the age of 30 is something I NEVER thought would happen.

As I may have mentioned before, prior to meeting my husband I had decided that I was never going to have children. The person I was with post-high school and through University was not exactly parent material and due to a lot of issues that I had (some I still have) in regards to my own family had me feeling that I would not be adequate in bringing a life into this world and then caring for it.

But as we meet people our lives change, right? I met my husband at the age of 25 and we were married shortly after and got pregnant with our first child extremely shortly after that. I was totally fine with one kid. Sure, with one, you only have to focus on that one little life and their needs and wants. They had zero competition for your love and you don’t have to worry about spreading yourself too thin, comparing your children all the time and maybe inadvertently picking favourites.

After some discussion, we agreed on one more child. Really, it was my husband that wanted another child. He mentioned how he had always seen himself with at least two. It took me a bit to get used to the idea, but I ended up agreeing and we started trying.

And that’s where we initially hit our roadblock. Due to unforeseen problems with work and medical issues I didn’t think we were ever going to have that second child. We talked a lot about it and he too eventually came to terms with the fact that we might have just one. Seeing the cost of raising children, it wasn’t that had to come to terms with that.

After we figured out I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome which causes my hormones to be insane and make it difficult to conceive, I went on medication and we kept trying. I had wanted to be pregnant by January of 2013 so that my child could be born in October which is my month of birth as my son is born in May, which is my husband’s birth-month. It didn’t happen and I could feel time running out.

We had decided to try until I turned 30. I have nothing against women who have children later in their lives, but it’s not for me. I already felt old when I had my son the year I turned 27. My parents were in their extremely early 20’s when I was born so that probably has a lot to do with it. Growing up, the parents of my friends were about the same age as my parents as well. I didn’t want to be 35 and having my child. I felt that would be too many years between the two of them, plus I didn’t want to be ‘old’ when my kids hit their 20’s.

And then, it happened. We managed to get pregnant without seeing a fertility specialist and I’m due to have my final bundle of joy in November of this year. As I write this, I feel as big as a house and I hate that my back hurts and that my clothes don’t fit and that EVERYTHING makes me uncomfortable, but that’s all a part of being pregnant. This is definitely the last time I’m doing this because a) we can’t afford to have more than two children. Really. We can’t. Kids are expensive and I don’t want to bring a child into this world if I’m not confident we can provide a good life for them and b) I am sooooooo getting my tubes tied. Or obliterated. Maybe shredded. Whatever they can do to make sure we don’t accidentally have any additional children. I’ve been told I might need to have another c-section with this child as I had one with my first so I see a specialist next week. I’ll talk it over with them, because I am so not keen on staying in the hospital for three days again. I HATED IT the first time. I don’t want people visiting, I feel gross and the beds are just not up to snuff. I’d rather be at home in my own bed recovering from major surgery like that. Buuuuuut I don’t think my opinion matters too much on that 😛

As I look back on my life as I approach this milestone of turning 30 I am excited for the white hairs on my head and I am looking forward to shouting at people that I am 30 years old so I am allowed to be married with children and NO it’s NOT my fault I look like I’m 12.

Bastards………:P

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

Weekend in Ghostville

I still don’t have a charger for my tablet so I have yet to catch up on my reading.

I did a short review of what’s been going on with my book since I published it and not too many sales overall. But that’s okay. It’s not like I published it solely to make money.

Because I haven’t had time to catch up on my reading, I also haven’t had time to catch up on my writing. Now that we’re moved and settled (for the most part) my focus has been on trying to get EI to process my damn application within their “reasonable timeframe” (which is bollocks if you ask me. Give me a concrete time-frame, like 2-3 weeks or something). It’s now been 2 weeks since I submitted my application and nothing has yet to be determined. I would rather know yes or no. Either way is fine, but I can’t do much with my budgeting or life if I have no idea.

Aside from that, I’ve also been stressing out about going back to school in September 2014 and finding child care for that time. I’m not worried too much about The Boy because he’s old enough that for his age group there are lots of spots. The one I’m worried about is The Hatchling. The child care on base currently only lists 8 spots for that age group. The Hatchling will be 10 months. The child care at the University won’t take children until they are 2 years old and I would like to keep them together if I can. This means I might be restricted to Tuesday/Thursday classes because the “casual” childcare runs all day those days or online learning only. That is also going to impact any hope for a part time job.

*sigh* Maybe I won’t go back to school. It’s not like I’ll die without it. We might not even have enough money to send me back to school anyway. I might be better off looking for work and full time child care so we can save up to buy a house and potentially put my husband through school if he wants it.

We’ll see. I have lots of time to think about it and to try to get things organized. I’ve contacted the Child Care Coordinator for the base to see what the wait-list looks like so I have an idea. She’s on vacation, so I should hear from her in a couple weeks.

Until then, I’ll just hang out and try to enjoy my son without him driving me crazy. Which is hard for a three-year-old ahahaha.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments