growing

Give Me Freedom

Parenting is hard.

It’s true that every generation faces their own hurdles that they need to overcome to align with what society says is ‘good parenting’.

I’m finding it difficult to allow myself to allow my kids to have fun without being judged.

Thanks to social media and the ability to spread news farther and faster than ever before it sounds like a horrible world out there. Gratefully my kids are 6 and 2.5 so we’re kind of okay right now. But there are things I would have done as a child that I’ll be damned I let my kids do now for fear of getting arrested or something.

When I was growing up you played outside. You went off and were told to be back by a certain time. I lived pretty rurally in my childhood so what really happened is we were tossed outside and told to go play until you hear someone yelling your name.

And we did.

I explored forests, went on loooong walks, played in burned out buildings (a barn had burned down. Obviously I only went in long after the fire was done), played in an abandoned house and discovered nature. Trees, animals, plants, all kinds of things were in my domain. Came back to the house for meals and then was off.

Granted I don’t remember these times in my life too well because there was a lot of stress and trauma happening at the same time. But I do remember the freedom.

If I were to let my 6 year old play in my fenced, relatively danger-free backyard, alone, I’d probably get arrested.

Which sucks.

I also live in town which is weird for me. I don’t know what to do with kids when you live in town. I didn’t live in a town until I was in my early teens so to have a 6 year old who is just begging to be released into the wilds and run around fields and having no place to do that is a task I’m dealing with.

Kids don’t come with manuals and we have to go by what our parents showed us as kids. If you didn’t have great parents or if there were things about your childhood you hated and you want to change, parenting is even that much more foreign to you.

But I can be taught. There are places I can take my kid and let him roam. There are activities he can do and enjoy the outdoors as much as I did.

outside

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 6 comments

The Woman I Met

Not that long ago, I met a woman.

We sat in silence, at first, neither of us speaking, neither of us looking at eachother. It was a strange, yet comfortable silence.

As she sat, drinking the tea that smouldered in her mug, she turned her head ever so slightly. The sun caught the white strands that were peaking through her chestnut hair. I still could not see her face.

But then she began to speak. And I, I began to listen.

She told me of her life from the beginning to the now. I couldn’t see her facial expression but I could hear it in her words. The words that were warm and the words that were cold. The times she spoke of happiness yet they were twinged with sadness. There was a loneliness in her voice that resonated within me.

I sat there, listening to her words and her story. The sadness was overwhelming as she detailed the events of her life. I could feel anger bubbling inside of me as the tales of her life were woven on that day.

I had never listened to a life such as that before.

When she was done, she turned to me and spoke:

“Life is as hard or as soft as you make it. You take what you were given, what life experiences you obtained and you mould that into your own story. Your memories are your own and no one can take that away from you. Forgiveness is the hardest thing that you can ever overcome. It is important to overcome that barrier; that wall of resentment and hate.”

She paused then and I began to absorbe her words. While the sadness lingered it was clear to see that she had knowledge I could never hope to obtain.

And then she turned. Her face in full view.

I had met a woman the other day. A woman who shared with me her pains in life and her joys in life.

All it had taken was the time to sit and listen. To listen to what she had to say and learn the lessons she had to share.

I met a woman the other day. When she was done sharing her stories she turned and smiled.

And that woman was me.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 4 comments