melancholy monday

Melancholy Monday

It’s raining in Alberta today and the weather is making me melancholy.

I’m reminded of unhappy things from my past when it rains. I also like the rain when I can lock myself in my room with a book to read, or to write. Then the rain is good.

It’s sometimes a good thing to get back in this depressed state of mind when it rains because it helps the writing. Things are full of such agony when I write when it rains. People die, lives are ruined, worlds destroyed.

Many people see rainy days as things to be feared. Some studies will tell you that the suicide rate spikes when it rains. As someone who has had suicidal thoughts before, I can understand WHY it would spike on days like today when everything is gray and looks hopeless. But it was never rainy days for me.

Yes, I can get a little depressing on days like today and I usually like to watch movies that make me cry on days like today, but I never went that far on rainy days. I love the rain. I love the sound it makes on the roof, I love watching the ripples in the puddles. In the summer time, when it’s hot and it rains, I like to walk in the rain.

For me, my depression and my suicidal thoughts stemmed from other reasons and not the weather. I always found solace in the rain and maybe that comes from living in a log cabin in the woods where everything was so quiet on rainy days. The birds were still there, but quieter and the shadows of animals skittering here and there trying to find shelter from the storm was interesting to watch.

I am happy to say it’s been 5 years since I had suicidal thoughts. Those who read this might be surprised that things like that ever crossed my mind before, but when (if) I eventually post about what my childhood and early adulthood was like, you’ll understand more.

UNFORTUNATELY I have to work today. It’s sad business, working a Day Job on a day that would give birth to so many interesting things when writing. In my next story, TAK, I’ve decided to call it for sure, there are lots of sad things that could happen.

SO MANY LIVES TO RUIN!!! *insert evil laugh here*

Oh man. You better hope I never rule the world…..:P

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments