reactions

Another TAK Short

Alright, here is another short story using some more characters from my upcoming book TAK.

*WARNING* THIS STORY IS RATED ‘M’ FOR MATURE. IT CONTAINS GRAPHIC SEXUAL VIOLENCE, INCEST AND OBJECTIONABLE CONTENT. THIS IS NOT FOR THE EASILY DISTURBED. PLEASE REMEMBER IT IS ONLY A STORY AND IS NO WAY BASED ON ANY ONE LIVING OR DEAD (to my knowledge anyway) *WARNING*

That’s your warning. Read at your own risk. If I do publish a book of shorts from the world of TAK this particular tale may or may not be included. I’m surprised at myself for writing it. If you do end up reading TAK when it comes out (maybe 2015?) this story will give you some insight into a certain character’s mindset.

Anyway, that’s enough of the warning. I still think it’s a good story, despite the potentially mind-melting disturbing parts. Don’t say I didn’t tell you!

Skeletons in the Closet

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Book Excerpts, 3 comments

Review

Received a second review over at GoodReads. I highly suggest checking it out! It goes into great depth about what the reader liked and disliked about my book.

Some people may think it’s too honest, but as a new author trying to get my book(s) known out there, I see it as invaluable teaching material.

After all, how can I hope to make my next book, TAK, any better if I can’t build upon the weaknesses of my past? They need to be shown to me so I can do that and this review hits it all.

It’s been updated on my media page, but here is the link as well: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/632616050

Posted by Sarah Jayne in My Book Stuff, 0 comments

Tick-Tock

Today is the last day that I get to spend with my son, just the two of us. On Wednesday I go into the hospital to have my second baby. Tomorrow we take our son to Nana and Grampy’s so that he can get settled and Mum and Dad can go to our Pre-Op appointment as we are having a scheduled c-section for this second little monster.

Right now I’m filled with so many mixed emotions I don’t know how I’m going to sleep the next two nights. I would be spending all my time with my son right now but he’s more concerned with fighting Vader in Angry Birds to want to play with me. So I thought I’d do my ‘final’ post for a while since he’s preoccupied.

I just keep worrying about having enough time for both kids. Most of the time I feel like I don’t have enough time for just my son. But I’ll be going back to work and hopefully doing some school so that means my time will be reduced again. I’m hoping to start in 2014 and only doing school 3 days a week on the days when my son is in Pre-Kindergarten anyway and then working in the evening. The year after that, if I get into the B.Ed program, I’ll be going to school full time, but so will my son. My baby will be old enough to attend the child care on campus so that will be fine. And really, it’ll be like when I first had my son and went back to work. I worked full time Monday-Friday so it’s not like one child will have had more time with me than the other.

I’m trying to keep in mind how to balance everything. Especially if I have another boy. While I REALLY REALLY want another boy, I’m worried about treating them differently, preferring one over the other, or just straight up treating them so differently it’s noticeable. And I mean favouring one over the other when I talk about treating them differently. Of course they will be treated differently as they will be different people.

But then if I have a girl, my son can go on being my special little man. However, that brings up a whole host of other concerns and worries that I don’t even know what I’m going to do about it.

Let’s not even START talking about the ACTUAL birth of the child, which is via cesarean section, which is considered MAJOR surgery. Plus, I’m getting my tubes obliterated in the process so even though I’ve had a c-section before, this one will be different and therefore my recovery will be different.

Will I be able to spend time with both kids right away? Will my son be able to adjust to the arrival of the new baby? He’s only 3.5 years old so while I THINK he kind of gets what’s going on, I don’t think he understands 100%. I’m worried he won’t know what to do with me when I am sitting in bed and not moving because I’ve just gotten my stitches removed or something. I’m worried he will start acting out in a way that we can’t control.

Oh, and did I mention Christmas is coming? And our income is reduced. Good thing I’m done shopping for my family for the most part 😛

Ugh.

Well, my boy needs help annihilating some Storm Trooper piggies on Hoth so I should stop.

Hopefully I can stop thinking about all this crap and just relax before baby gets here and takes away all my energy 🙂

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

My Rage Boils Over

There’s nothing like getting a phone call at 4 pm on a work day that ends at 4:30 from the program area FREAKING OUT because they suddenly think we need to recruit the hell out of a program because ONE STUDENT withdrew their application.

This, of course, puts more work on my shoulders. This morning I rolled in to work at 7:25 thanks to traffic being light. I immediately went over the list for the students from the affected program to make sure we were okay or if I should start contacting students on the wait-list.

First thing this morning, I am irritated to all hell.

Irritation the first: The main reason we keeps losing students from the program in question is because ANOTHER program at the College I work at keeps STEALING the students for a different program. Um, go to hell and get your own people.

Irritation the second: While counting all the students who are complete and realizing we still have enough to at least run the program I start looking at those on the wait-list. Weeeeeeeeeeeell APPARENTLY one of the wait-listed students has already had their funding forms for the program in question signed off for, THEIR ADVISOR JUST DIDN’T NOTIFY MYSELF OR MY CO-WORKER about it. So we were really over subscribed to the program.

Irritation the third: Getting e-mails asking if I’m ‘covering’ for the co-worker who is on holiday. Um, I’ve been doing the SAME job as her since FEBRUARY if you people would get it through your thick goddamn skulls and realize that. Not that it matters because I’m leaving anyway.

Thank goodness for that. If I had to stay here where apparently I don’t do my job and am nothing more than extra flesh all of a sudden I would end up being miserable.

Manitoba, here I come! Are you ready for me?!

 

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

The Things We Teach Our Children

Okay, so I’ll apologize that this has somehow shifted from me talking about my story and my stories that I’m working on and reading to parenting and child-things. I can’t help it right now. I’m gestating and this is what my brain wants to write about.

I may not have a real relationship with my biological parents but as I get ready to bring a second child into this world I unfortunately remember instances when my parents were together or from the time before my mother went crazy (well, it was never formally diagnosed but she HAS to be bi-polar or something because I can’t explain her any other way).

I was thinking of the things I want for my children and this in turn made me think back on the things I learned from my parents.

Good Things:

  • Work hard
  • Be on time
  • Take school seriously
  • Be able to think and do for yourself
  • Be the best that you are capable of (this lesson got warped as I got older, but I’ll remember this part of it)
  • Don’t be afraid to try new things and meet new people
  • If you’ll regret not doing it, do it. If you’ll regret doing it, don’t
  • Family is the most important thing (this was from when I was VEEEEEEEEEERY young as neither of them follow this anymore)
  • Don’t limit yourself
  • You are your own worst enemy. Make friends with yourself.

And the Bad Things:

  • Don’t do drugs in front of your children
  • Your children shouldn’t need to know where to hide your stash if the cops show up
  • Don’t frequent the bar so much your children know the bartenders by name when they call
  • If you are suffering, get help. Don’t take it out on your family
  • Don’t think you can put yourself in a dangerous situation and your children won’t know about it
  • Don’t bring strange men to the house where your teenage daughter lives with you. Especially when these men are creepy.
  • Don’t hold a knife to your chest and threaten to kill yourself when your children are in the room.

And many more.

As I get older and I begin to resemble my parents more and more in the way I talk, act, and look, I fear that I will end up like them. There are many parts of my childhood that were absolutely awful and terrifying that I don’t ever want to put my children through. There were also a few things that were really good and taught me important things. It’s sad that those happened so long ago.

Part of this is self-therapy to get these memories out of my head because as I get further in to my pregnancy I’m finding myself a lot more moody than the last time and I’m dwelling on past things a lot. I can’t really talk about it with my husband sometimes, not because he won’t listen, but because he’s heard it SO MANY DAMN TIMES I fear he’ll just go crazy lol

With that said, I feel much better now. I’m going to focus on the positive and maybe I’ll write a post that’s only about good things to reinforce that.

Back to the Day Job…..someone’s gotta do it.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 4 comments

Review, Review!

My book is still under review but that’s okay. I might link to it soon anyhow.

I’ve already had 4 downloads of the sample that I made available! :O SO COOL!

I plan on creating a coupon as well so that I can do some give-aways. I’m waiting to hear from Collections Canada about an ISBN before I put it up on KPD as well. I’ll need the ISBN to make it available in the catalog for Kobo, Sony, and iBooks. It can take a while, but I hope it doesn’t. I’m impatient!!!

In the meantime, I’m going to get as much done for KDP as I can so that it’ll be one-click uploading there.

Now, I have so much time to do…..NOTHING! No editing, formatting, brain-wracking!

One thing I can do, though, is work on my next piece. I’ve had a few good ideas for it since I started editing Black & Red. I’m also waiting on my art piece my friend is creating for me to use as my online avatar, if you will. She’s been sooooo busy so I’m totally cool with waiting. You need to wait for a good product!

This is why, if you search me on Smashwords, you will see I don’t have a profile picture. I don’t have one on my Facebook page either. I put a temporary picture on Twitter so that I wouldn’t look like a robot, but I don’t want to use it everywhere. It’s just a place holder at the moment.

I promise once it’s been reviewed I’ll link to the book on my Books section plus I’ll probably do a post on it. I’m excited to read the first review. SOMEONE’S going to review it, I’m sure. As to whether or not it’s nice, that will be a different story. I must steel my heart and not take it personally 🙂

That’s going to be the hard part!

Posted by Sarah Jayne in My Book Stuff, 0 comments

Bad Morning = Bad Mood

Had a bad morning. My dog refuses to cooperate and almost ripped my arm off.

I’m not kidding. She’s a mini Australian Shepherd, so she’s small, but trust me when I tell you she can be vicious. Aside from snarling, growling, and attempting to bite me, she refused to get in  her crate and apparently the landlords are coming for their “annual inspection” of the property.

The “annual inspection” piece is bullshit. We’ve lived there for 3 years and they’ve never done this before. So, I hope my dog pees on them. She’s normally a very docile, overly fearful dog and she loves people so I know she won’t bite anyone. But she gets soooooo excited when she sees people she sometimes pees. I hope she pees on the people coming to the house. It didn’t say on the notice to lock her up, so they can go to hell if they have a problem.

I am really pissed off about the whole situation and it’s ruined my day.

DO NOT PISS ME OFF. ESPECIALLY WHEN I’M PREGNANT AND HORMONAL.

Pissing me off is just a no-no in general. Right now it’s a BIG no-no because I’m losing my grip on my patience. Especially with a stupid dog. My kid is a different story. I am quite used to his antics so I don’t get as angry. Plus it’s his birthday on Friday so I’m giving him some leeway here.

That’s it for the rant! I’ll listen to this song until my ears bleed and it will make me happy because it’s hilarious:

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

I HAVE SLAIN THE EVIL BEAST!

This Sunday, I slew the evil that is known as ‘editing’.

I actually didn’t change as much as I thought. When I was getting near the end of Black & Red and I was cutting and adding here and there, I didn’t add nearly as much as I expected. I had always thought the ending wasn’t that great, but as I read through it, I realized that for that particular story, that ending is what it needed.

Do I think Black & Red is my best work? No. It’s something I wrote almost five years ago and at the time, it was my best work. I’ve dressed it up and trimmed it down so it’s all ready to go to prom, but I don’t believe it’s my best.

I believe a lot of authors feel that way about their first pieces. It’s still, in my opinion, a very good story and I really liked the tale it told. I’m actually quite excited for it to be done because that means I can focus on the piece I was writing when I decided (purely on a whim, really) that I wanted to publish this year. That particular piece probably won’t be ready until sometime in 2014, which is just fine by me.

Now, I have to move on to the Terrible Beast: Formatting. This means I HAVE to do my work at home. It’s just too difficult to try and format without using Microsoft Word and using my tablet. This is definitely something I need my laptop for.

So please look forward to when I publish! I’ll still post on here, probably all the time, and maybe I’ll start talking about my new story. But we’ll see. 🙂

Posted by Sarah Jayne in My Book Stuff, 2 comments

The Sound of Silence

Anyone who knows me knows that I dislike silence.

That isn’t to say that I can’t be unplugged from something for more than five minutes without going crazy.

There are different kinds of ‘silence’ that I am comfortable in. I dislike being in a room, building, or vehicle without music, that is true.

However, if I am in a room, with the window open, in the country, I am so happy it’s ridiculous. The sounds I hear when I live in the country calm me down. I hate the sounds of traffic and screaming and general noise that I get when I’m in the city. I think the happiest I ever was with ‘silence’ was when I lived in a log cabin in the middle of the forest between the ages of 8-12. I’m not kidding. It was a small place called Walsingham in Ontario. I THINK it’s on the map now. When I lived there we had dirt roads, a few stop signs and a gas station. It was wonderful. After that we moved to a house in the middle of a field in another smaller country place like Walsingham. That was also nice in terms of ‘silence’.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not bat-shit crazy and I CAN handle being without my music if I’m in the right place. I’m sure others are like this too 🙂 What’s your favourite ‘Sound of Silence’?

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 2 comments

Murderers

In the story I was working on before I decided to take the plunge and publish myself this year, I had created a character that I absolutely loved.

It was my first story with two male protagonists. There will be a female protagonist but she doesn’t make an appearance until much later in the story.

These two male characters were wonderful to create. Their relationship and back-story was even more compelling (to me, anyway) and I absolutely loved the dynamic between the two of them.

It was by about page 50 when I was writing that it hit me.

“Ah….” I thought, “He’s going to die.”

I knew almost right away that one of the main characters was going to die. I even had his death pictured vaguely in my mind.

It’s a very sad thing, when an author is going to kill off a character that they truly like and enjoy. It reminded me of another story I had written years ago that I had shared with a friend.

In that story I had killed off a semi-main character. After she read the chapter she called me in tears, blasting me for taking away this character’s life.

I felt bad, but it wasn’t my fault. That’s how the story needed to go. The first time I ever killed a character I felt slightly depressed. I mean, come on! Writers spend so much time with their works and the little lives and worlds they create it’s hard not to get attached. But sometimes the story calls for it and unfortunately, people need to die.

In the story I’m going to publish at the end of this month, there is the death of a main character, but it brings closure to the world that I had created.

I hope, that if you decide to read it when it’s out, that you enjoy it and won’t be too upset with me 🙂

Posted by Sarah Jayne in My Book Stuff, 0 comments