support

1-800-273-8255 ft. Alessia Cara, Khalid by Logic

Please visit Suicide Prevention Canada if you need support.

I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die today
I just wanna die
I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die
And let me tell you why

All this other shit I’m talkin’ ’bout they think they know it
I’ve been praying for somebody to save me, no one’s heroic
And my life don’t even matter
I know it I know it I know I’m hurting deep down but can’t show it
I never had a place to call my own
I never had a home
Ain’t nobody callin’ my phone
Where you been? Where you at? What’s on your mind?
They say every life precious but nobody care about mine

I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die today
You don’t gotta die
I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die
Now lemme tell you why

[Alessia Cara:]
It’s the very first breath
When your head’s been drowning underwater
And it’s the lightness in the air
When you’re there
Chest to chest with a lover
It’s holding on, though the road’s long
And seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection
Finally knowing who it is
I know that you’ll thank God you did

[Logic:]
I know where you been, where you are, where you goin’
I know you’re the reason I believe in life
What’s the day without a little night?
I’m just tryna shed a little light
It can be hard
It can be so hard
But you gotta live right now
You got everything to give right now

I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?
I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

I finally wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
I don’t wanna die today
I don’t wanna die
I finally wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die

[Khalid:]
Pain don’t hurt the same, I know
The lane I travel feels alone
But I’m moving ’til my legs give out
And I see my tears melt in the snow
But I don’t wanna cry
I don’t wanna cry anymore
I wanna feel alive
I don’t even wanna die anymore
Oh I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t even wanna die anymore

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

Mindful Musings #185

mindful-musings

Come, lay it down on me.

Bring your troubles

Your sorrows

Your joy

And your pain.

Come, lay it down on me.

Let me share in your burden,

In your fear,

Your agony,

And your smile.

Come, lay it down on me.

The good and

The bad.

I will take it all

And help you with your load.

Come, lay it down on me

And we will work together

To bring the sun back

Into your

Life.

 

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Musings, 2 comments

Nice, Long, Sigh

I had a great night last night! I met up with a friend for dinner. She came and picked me up and treated me to supper at a restaurant in town that wasn’t McDonalds! We had a great chat about a bunch of the stuff I’m dealing with right now and the stuff she’s dealing with right now. It’s really nice and amazing to have someone that you can talk to so openly who is real with you. When we talked to each other we don’t sugar-coat, we don’t try to tip-toe around the other. If I’m doing something stupid, she tells me straight out. If she’s doing something stupid, I tell her straight out. There’s no malice in our words so we’re able to be honest with each other without worrying about hurt feelings.

After like, 2 hours at the restaurant we were about to leave when I ran into my Boss and fellow Ninja from work! They had met up since my Boss is in town so they invited us to sit with them and we remained for like, another 2 hours. I really needed that. My friend and I  generally try to have a ‘date’ once a week or every two weeks but it had been a while due to our lives being busy, the weather and other stuff.

It was after sitting with my co-workers with an ‘outsider’ that I realized I have it really damn good with my Day Job. I share an office with someone who listens to me bitch and is understanding. That fellow Ninja is amazing in her own right! She knows this job so well it’s amazing. It’s easy to ask her for direction or guidance and I appreciate that. Then there’s the other Ninja that I saw last night. He’s a bit more senior than I am (if you’re reading this, I will call you Senpai from now on instead of Shonen) since he’s been here longer but man. He’s hella successful for a young guy. He’s got his Master’s, he’s working this entry level job which could lead him to amazing professional opportunities and he teaches for the University as well. He’s also wicked intelligent and pretty funny. Then there’s my Boss (who apparently is also a Power Ranger) who is just relaxed and fun but is able to keep us all in line and help us deliver awesome results. There are so many amazing people that I work with that I would be here all day talking about them. It’s just such a chill, professional and awesome environment that I appreciate being able to work here.

It was also revealed to me last night that my in-laws are picking up my eldest on Friday and taking him for the night! That will give all of us a nice needed break. We’ll have to put the tree up on Saturday when my son gets back. My in-laws are also great people. I got really lucky on the draw there. A lot of people hate their in-laws or their in-laws hate them. I don’t have this issue. Or if they do dislike me, they hide it really well hahaha.

I’m feeling refreshed and happy again. Things are starting to look up!

good-friends

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

Domestic Violence Prevention Month – Canada

November is Domestic Violence Prevention Month here in Canada.

As a survivor of domestic violence, I have written a brief snapshot of my history in the hopes that others may read it and draw strength from it.

You are not alone. You can survive.

Domestic Violence

It’s not an inclusive story by any means. Perhaps it’s more for self-therapy than for actually helping anyone. But it is my story.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 1 comment