work

Poetry in the Bathtub

It’s been quite some time since I just wrote what I’ve been up to. I wish I could say that everything has just been so fabulous I was too busy having fun to write. It’s really been as I’m sure you suspect: stressful and busy.

Major Life Happenings

There have been a few, what I would consider, major changes in my life in the last six months that have lead me to feeling overwhelmed and extremely tired. They are as follows:

  • Husband gets a job in a city 2.5 hours away. This means he needs to rent an apartment (sadly, with strangers) pay rent and only be able to come home on weekends.
    • This has lead me to acting as a single parent of two very high energy, and one very high emotional needs, children. Boys, to be specific.
  • A coworker got a new job in an awesome, stable position. I react to this change in a very surprising, not-so-great way. I’m still surprised at my own reaction to this news.
  • There are extreme issues at my eldest sons daycare which lead me to pulling him from it and placing myself in an extremely stressful and awkward situation.

I am happy to report that most of these issues are being dealt with. My sons childcare issues have just been resolved in the last week with changes to begin in January 2018. Tomorrow is the last day of school for the year and I should be sitting pretty. I’m grateful to have such an accommodating workplace because I know I wouldn’t have been able to keep my job in light of the impact it has had on my work schedule.

The reaction I had to my coworker departing is being dealt with. I surprised even myself with how I initially took the news. It was mostly due to shock, but there were underlying concerns as well. I am meeting with my counsellor again and we’re addressing it. I have yet to write the departing coworker into a short story where I kill them off and satisfy my unhappiness.

My husband being absent is another thing. This is the right move for our family as he now has an amazing job that he feels confident he will be happy in for the rest of his working life. We plan to move out closer to his job at the end of the school year, so I only have 6 more months of living like this. It’s not what I envisioned myself doing, for sure, but it’s a necessary evil.

Behold My Field of Fucks, and See that it is Barren

This has all done a number on my empathy and patience level for bullshit. I have none left. My tolerance is at an all time low and I’m actively working on mindfulness activities so that I don’t blow my top over stupid stuff. Where does that lead me? Why, it leads me to writing poetry in my bathtub on a Thursday evening.

After my board meeting ended earlier than expected I had attempted to arrange a hang out. Sadly, it wasn’t to be so I came home with really nothing to do. Usually a bath makes me happy but my tub is absolute shite and I can’t wait to move. Still, into the tub I went, writing poetry and this post on my tablet on the side of the tub. I really want one of those things that goes across the tub so you can write more naturally. I will spend hours in the tub if you’d let me.

I’ve also started journaling again. On paper, privately, where I can get out my innermost thoughts without offending the general population. Once I am done with my board meetings I hope to actively write TAK again. I haven’t touched it in a year and I’ve been dreaming of new direction to take it. I so badly want to give it my attention. Perhaps a throw-away character who very closely resembles the coworker who abandoned me will show up only to be disposed of quite spectacularly. That is still up for debate.

But most of all, I want to be still. I want to be rested. I want to have less stress. I want to be able to call the babysitter because I’m going out to a movie or a drink with a friend. I want to be able to put my kids to bed and devote the next three hours to working on my book. I want to be able to read a real, physical book and not worry that I actually have a million things I should be paying attention to.

Perhaps the new year will show me a new outlook. 2017 has been very difficult and I most certainly could use a break.

Here’s crossing my finger, my toes and my eyes and 2018 comes with renewed passion and energy.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

Everything is Blue

I’m so apathetic today. Which apparently is making me wittier than normal.

This won’t be a long post because apathy and the fact that I just can’t think of anything of value to write.

I am considering getting my own hosting service and moving the site. Not sure how that will affect things, but I’m just investigating at this time. If anyone has any experiences with their own hosting and how it works when you’ve started as a WordPress hosted site, I would be interested in hearing from you! Either hit me up in the comments or contact me via email.

I hope everyone has had a good holiday season and aren’t feeling overwhelmed with being back to work! There’s a lot going on in my neck of the woods that I’ll sort out in another post.

On a side note, I’m taking a stats for education class and I hate IBM SPSS 24. I mostly hate it because I am illiterate with programs like this and want to throw things out the window. Someone want to do my homework for me? Please? No? Bastards.

It’s my bestfriends birthday today and I just sang to her on the phone. She lives a few provinces away so I couldn’t sing to her face. She’s complaining (lightly) that she’s old because she turned 30. As someone who is turning 34 this year, I laugh at her.

As she is a cat-person, I post this photo in her honour:

cat

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

Did Someone Order a Headless Chicken?

It’s been far too long since I just wrote a post about myself. I’ve been keeping up with the mindful musings but I haven’t had time to talk about me.

I’m sure you’ve all suspected that TAK has fallen by the wayside again. Indeed, it has. I’ve been quite stuck with it and have been considering rewriting the last few chapters I wrote previously as they just weren’t inspiring me.

Well, on to the life update!

I currently have two jobs. I’m a casual Crisis Counsellor at the women’s shelter where I live. Since I have personal experience with domestic abuse on various levels and I have this desire to help others I wanted to get out there and do more. Also, my husband is in his last year of school and after the debacle with him working last year it was agreed that I would be the one to have a second job.

The busy-ness doesn’t stop there! I have two freelance clients I do odd work for now and then for pocket change. It’s not much, but $20 here and there does add up and can make quite a dent on the credit card.

I am also taking two courses through Memorial University this term. Looking at the weight of the courses I should have only signed up for one but it’s too late now. I’ll work my hardest to get good grades to hopefully increase the chances of getting into my MEd program.

And then there’s the children, Spawn and Hatchling. Spawn has definitely had some behaviour issues that were really excessive in the last few years. It got bad enough in the last six months that I took him for an intake session for behaviour. Now I’m waiting to get a full assessment so I can hopefully figure out how to help him. While we wait, we’re actively going to the Y twice a week. Spawn is involved in 2 programs and I work out on the machines while he participates. I’ve realized, too late, that I have forgotten my iPod at home, however, so  I’m a tad upset about it.

It’s been a bit hard, emotionally, as well. It was my grandmother’s birthday at the beginning of the month and I’ve been getting actively harassed by losers who won’t leave me alone. It seems that ignoring them won’t work and I’d rather not engage their destructive behaviour.

Open to thoughts on that. What have you done to banish ne’er dowells back into the darkness?

nope

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 5 comments

A Day in the Life

It’s been one of those days where I can’t wait for it to be over, and yet I feel like there isn’t enough time left in the day.

Some news, since I’ve been absent, is that I have a second job! This is on top of the free-lance writing I do, which has gotten me another client. I also work in a casual capacity as a Crisis Counsellor at my local women’s shelter. It’s been a learning experience, that’s for sure, but I’ve been able to use past experience when working with our clients.

Between the, four, jobs I have I am also starting two classes this term. These are prerequisite courses for the Masters in Education in Counselling Psychology that I hope to get into when I’m done. I have 5 courses in total so after these 2 I’ll have 3 left. It doesn’t look like I have any exams, yet, so that makes me happy.

The husband is starting his final year of college this fall as well. Our eldest is going to be in grade 1 and our youngest will be 3. It’s a bit crazy at my place right now.

Because it’s crazy, and I honestly have no other excuse, I haven’t touched TAK in months. When I get home from one of my jobs all I want to do is lay on the couch and veg. I don’t want to sit at a desk or with my tablet on my lap and attempt to flesh out more of TAK. It’s a horrible feeling; knowing that there’s this story inside that I can’t do anything about.

Also, not that you can tell, but I’m having a massive issue typing today. I have hit the backspace key so many times! What the hell! I’ve trimmed my nails so that’s not the issue. But honestly, it’s getting irritating.

Things are going well, otherwise. I took my eldest to see the Weird Al concert when it came through my province this summer. My husband took a few days off work and we made a family trip out of it. We went to a children’s museum and the zoo. Went to the park. My in-laws came out on the second day and we all went to the zoo together. It was fun! My eldest had HUGE attitude issues, though. But we’re also working on that.

He’s all registered for 2 programs at the local YMCA that will hopefully help with all the energy he’s got. He’s exhausting. But cute. I think I’ll keep him.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

What's Up, World?

I’ve been reading the news lately, which has turned out to be a major bad idea. I won’t even go into my thoughts because people are doing that already.

Instead, I’ll ask all of you readers:

  • How are you?
  • Are you having a good day?
  • What’s the last thing that made you smile?

Comment below! I’m truly interested in reading about it! 😀

Sponge Bob

 

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 12 comments

Another Day Among the Living

I’ve been a bit radio-silent the past week. A lot of that is because I was away for work with limited access to my tablet/writing. I haven’t touched TAK in like, 2 weeks, and I’m feeling a bit frustrated.

Everything around me seems to be in chaos. There’s a lot of uneasiness going on in my house while my husband prepares for job interviews and such for the summer. He still has a year left in his college program, but he was given the chance to work for a company in the summer that would potentially hire him when he’s done his program. There’s a lot of unease about this because it’s just a 3 month position. This means in the fall he would once again be unemployed.

Honestly, I’m fine with it.

I would rather be the one to take up a second job than to have him work and go to school. It’s been difficult for him and the boys are in this stage where they love dad the most (kids, amiright?) so with his unpredictable schedule there has been a lot of backlash at home. Especially with our eldest.

Will it mean I’m tired, working two jobs? Well, yeah, probably. I’ve done it before so I’m not concerned. No matter what I’ve done, be it school or volunteering,  I have always done so while working full time in the day.

My time to focus on my needs, educational and recreational, without working will come eventually.

In the meantime, the rest of life is going well. I’m heading up the Rock and Mineral show with a friend of mine tonight. Then we’re going to go out for dinner and maybe some ice cream.

Work is a bit quiet at the time but it will surely pick up as things get moving. I need to get in touch with an academic advisor at the university that accepted me so I can make sure my plan is realistic.

For now, I’ll just focus on what’s happening at this moment instead of stressing about the future.

stress free

 

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 2 comments

I DID IT!

If you remember, I had talked about applying to university to pick up some prerequisites for a Masters in Education that I wanted to complete.

It took forever, cost a pretty penny trying to get all my transcripts organized, then I had to wait for a paper letter to arrive in the mail before I knew if I was accepted or not. I had been checking on the online application system to see if they had made a decision. Do you know what agony is? Agony is waiting to receive a letter in the mail when you know a decision has been made. Agony is knowing that even if you call they won’t tell you.

But it was worth it.

I have been accepted! I can start classes in Fall 2016! There are 5 courses I need to be able to get into the Masters program. That’s not bad at all!

It feels pretty good to know that I’m that much closer. I mean, I know it’s just undergraduate level at this time and I did apply as undeclared status, but I still like it.

What does this mean?

Imma get SMRT!

Funny Smart

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 3 comments

Fancy AF

This past week I spent some time in Winnipeg for a work function. We were put up in this fancy-ass hotel and I don’t even know how to describe it. It was so fancy. SO FANCY. I have never been in a hotel room like that before. I mean, come on, I’m probably a Super 8/Motel 6 kind of girl. I feel like even Best Western is fancy to me.

But for reals. I had to use my room card to access the floor my room was on. I was denied access to other floors. I also had to put the key card into this slot thing to make the lights in my room work! THE LIGHTS! I forgot to take a picture of it but I was impressed. Apparently this set up is common in Asia according to my Brain Twin, but I’ve never been there before so I have nothing to compare it to. I also made the mistake of putting the card in the device and then removing it when the lights came on. Good thing the rooms are fairly sound-proof because I definitely squealed when they suddenly shut off. Because, I am that cool.

Apparently I really liked the bathroom because I took the most pictures of it. It was like a little private spa room which I really enjoyed. I also liked how there were pump bottles of shampoo, conditioner and shower gel in the shower while the sink hosted lotion and hand soap. That was pretty cool.

The bed was about the same size as the one at my own home, just without the other body in it. In the second picture you can see the inside of the shower! SCANDALOUS!

There was also a Keurig machine with coffee and tea that I could have used. But I didn’t. Because I am super particular about my tea.

I meant to take a picture of the cool chair and window that were off to the side but I didn’t because I had my clothes for the next day all over it. I meant to take a picture after I had gotten dressed but I completely forgot.

The only other picture I took was of the art on the wall:

wp-1463179168611.jpg

So minimalist. Such wow. So fancy.

I really felt out of place in this hotel room. Don’t get me wrong, the Alt Hotel in downtown Winnipeg is a really nice place, I just couldn’t picture myself staying there again. It was just an experience way beyond what I am used to. I don’t do well out of my comfort zone. Maybe it was because of the fanciness or it was because of my brain, but I didn’t fall asleep until like, 3 am. I had to get up at 6 am so  I was running on very little sleep. Even now I’m sick which is probably exasperated by the fact I didn’t get a proper nights sleep.

In the end, it was a fun experience and the staff were all friendly and amazing.

Hoep your Monday is going better than mine!

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 3 comments

The Short and Long of It

Writing the shorts for TAK has been incredibly useful. I’ve been able to pick up my writing while on my lunch breaks at work and due to the fact that I had previously written some shorts about The Doctor and Kokoro I’m able to better explain their relationship in the body of TAK. I am writing the chapter where Brexton and Aldric return to the clinic where The Doctor and Kokoro work for the first time in years. It gave me an idea for a separate short I’ll write later about how Brexton and Aldric have used the clinic in the past and their relationship to The Doctor and Kokoro then. It’s quite exciting really, so I’m looking forward to it.

I haven’t written any shorts for a while and before I got to this part in the chapter I was struggling with what I wanted to happen. I have a brief map written out on how I want the story to go, but sometimes when you get right to the point it’s hard to make those words flow and have those scenes woven so nicely together.

I re-read TAK from the beginning and allowed myself to make true edits as I went through. The last time I went through it I was purely reading it; not making any edits even though some jumped out at me. It’s quite empowering to be able to make those changes and this tablet makes that all the more possible.

Sometimes when I’m writing I get really excited for the end and I want to rush right to it. I haven’t done that yet, and I’m really proud of myself. I’m the kind of writer where I find it difficult to bounce back and forth between parts of the story. I like to go from start to finish. This is where the beauty of editing comes in, though, because I can reread those parts that perhaps I wrote too quickly and I can refresh them and sort them out.

It’s almost the weekend! I’m closer to finishing my office at home now. We’re off to purchase our sofa bed at Ikea this weekend. I’m also getting a new cellphone and getting my hair cut. My workplace has determined that we need to have our photos on the site. Since all the work I do is virtual and behind the scenes, it’s quite nice for users to be able to put a face to the name.

But alas, my lunch has ended and I must return to my desk.

Stay engaged in the now, my friends.interesting

Posted by Sarah Jayne in My Book Stuff, 2 comments