working out

Working out, nerd-style

This weekend had me a little down in the dumps. If you follow me on Twitter you may have noticed my strange narrative as I navigated the mall in my small town to buy pants.

Here’s some back story:

I wear the same two pairs of pants in rotation all the time. I will sometimes wear leggings and in the summer I have different pants and dresses I will wear. I live in Canada, where it’s freaking cold the majority of the time.

I had groceries to buy and my usual pants were both in the bin for washing.

Both. Of. Them.

Since it’s January, no matter how unseasonably warm it’s been, I needed to find another pair of pants to wear to the store. I have sweatpants but I’ve been trying really hard not to look like a bum when I go out. I more than often run into someone I know, someone I used to teach or people I work with at the store. So I didn’t want to look like a total slob.

I looked in my closet and found a pair of jeans I didn’t even know I had.

They did not fit.

I’m talking like, I couldn’t get them passed my thighs didn’t fit.

So I threw those in the ever-growing pile of clothes to be donated.

I found another pair and tried them on. Same result. Tossed.

Then I found 2 pairs of jeans my dayhome lady had given me. Now, these I could get past my thighs, but I could not do up the button.

Tossed.

Now I’m in a pickle. All I have left are dress pants.

I found a pair, put them on, and they fit just enough that I could go to the store and buy food for my family.

After I got home my husband had to take our dog to a lesson (she’s developing bad habits) and was home in time for lunch. Since I’m in a crappy mood from not fitting pants he tells me to go shopping.

So I shower, throw on a pair of leggings, and off I go!

In the end I successfully found 2 pairs of pants and quite a few shirts to make me happy. I had to call my shopping trip short because my husband texted me that he wasn’t feeling well. He ended up throwing up for the rest of the day.

But I found clothes!

Now I’m trying to kick my ass to work out more. It’s not like I am not thin, because I know I am. But I am not satisfied with the love handles and the pouch where my gut is.

Just now I downloaded two apps: Burn Your Fat With Me For Girls and 30 Day Fitness Challenge.

The first one is a fitness/dating sim type app using a character drawn in the anime style. It’s totally in English so I am excited to try this one! The other one I plan to start on Feb 1st and kick my ass. I just downloaded them so I’m not exactly sure how they’ll work. It’s a start. I also need to stop eating potato chips like Armageddon is coming but baby steps, right?

hqdefault

Hello Good-Looking 2D boy! 

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments

Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's 1999!

Well, maybe not 1999. Tonight is my work Christmas party! I’m pretty excited. All our remote staff members will be in the office today and this evening we will meet up at the Executive Director’s house for snacks and presents! We’re doing this present exchange thing where you can steal presents from each other? I’ve never done it before, so it will be new to me. My husband is a bit nervous since he’s the introverted type, so I hope he has a good time. There will be other introverts there that he can hang out with, so I think it will be fun. I won’t force him to do anything silly and I’ll be on my best behaviour too.

party

Speaking of the Husband he has an exam today! This week is all exams for him, but after this week he’s done for the year! I think he’s excited to be done the first term of his program. It’s been a bit rough in terms of adjusting to the reduced income, the new schedule, the new pressures and the new workload. We’ve kind of sorted that out so I think it should be all right.

Due to being under a lot of unnecessary stress lately I’ve booked in with a counsellor. I don’t see anything wrong with taking care of my mental health, yet others see it as a weakness. Mental health is just as important as physical health. I am in a new situation with new stresses and in order to maintain the way of life that I want, I need to get some help. This doesn’t mean I’m weak; far from it. I am strong enough to admit when I need help. I am only human. I’ve spent far too long in my life trying to be a super-human that it has taken me a long time to realise that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to admit I can’t do it all on my own.

Because I’m going to see a counsellor doesn’t mean I’m sick or broken. It means I just need that assistance in maintaining a balance. I’m not rich enough to be able to go to meditation or yoga AND kickboxing AND any other potential course to  help me keep my sanity. I would rather admit I need the help and get it than put my family through a tough spot. I’m a Libra. We’re all about balance.

balance

I’m usually really good at maintaining my balance, but like I said, there have been some unforeseen stresses this past month. My place of employment has an employee assistance program to help with things like this.

I am not weak. I will not break. If anything, I am stronger for this.

Posted by Sarah Jayne in Rantings, 0 comments